


Pear-flavoured or: A Short Guide to Caring for your Werewolf at Home

by LucyInTheSkye



Series: Sirius x Remus [50]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Aftercare, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Banter, Bathing/Washing, Bodily Fluids, Communication, Dissociation, Emotional Roller Coaster, Epic Friendship, Gentle Sex, Gross, Guilt, Happy Ending, Injury, Love, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Mindfuck, Pain, Rough Sex, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Werewolf Biology
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 01:35:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29270379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LucyInTheSkye/pseuds/LucyInTheSkye
Summary: November 1980. Also starring: The Moon.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Sirius x Remus [50]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1483745
Comments: 7
Kudos: 42





	Pear-flavoured or: A Short Guide to Caring for your Werewolf at Home

**Author's Note:**

> This one is all over the place. It is very focused on hurt/comfort but it’s got a few gross and sad parts and if you’re squeamish you may want to give this a pass. If you can get past that it is also a perfectly sweet love story deep down, I promise…

Remus’s mind was overflowing. Much like if you considered a bowl full of cake mixture, the attempted addition of blood and guts and horribly torn things was not a success, not to mention those electric metal whisks pounding against the insides, boring, hammering, vibrating... Remus gasped for breath, feet unsteady, ribs burning, back and front awash with sweat and his body teetering too close to the edge even after his last orgasm. 

Wolf and man were doing battle now that the moon was a shade away from full, visible from his vantagepoint past the half-drawn curtains, elbowing its way into the room from the dark skies beyond. Light creeping inside, silver fingers reaching across their freshly scrubbed floorboards and reflecting a rotund shimmer in the opaque puddle next to his feet. It was silently calling for Remus, beckoning to him alone, trying to lure him away so that the wolf could break out early from the prison of their shared body. 

“You’ll stop me if it’s too much?” Remus asked. The quiver in his voice was extra apparent in the quiet room, in the privacy of their home. Or almost quiet. Remus’s head and heart were pounding, drumming out an ode to the celestial body in front of him. Sirius was panting, but he had at least stopped retching.

“’Course.”

Breath evening out, Sirius raised his sparkling grey eyes towards him, mouth wet and open, still kneeling on the floor although his shape shifted when he transferred weight from his knees to his toes. Remus hurried to extend a hand; his fingers were grubby with dried saliva.

“Ta.” Sirius grinned sunnily when he took it, using Remus for leverage and rising to his full height, the end result leaving him a maddening inch taller than Remus. His lower eyelids and nose and mouth were all pink and shiny and Remus caressed the side of his head, snow white skin, temple and cheekbone and the indentation above his lip. He couldn’t help himself and pushed his thumb back into familiar territory. Sirius sucked contentedly on his thumb, teased it with his tongue but he did it at the same time as he intentionally made himself go cross-eyed. Remus was assaulted by the confusing impulse to smile along with the reignition of his arousal. The corners of his lover’s mouth were twitching, barely keeping in the laughter. Remus pushed down on his plush lower lip, then on his bottom row of teeth, coaxed his mouth open and leant in close. He smelled his breath for the familiar notes of their mingled scents. Notes of semen and spittle coming to fruition, marrying…

Sirius pretended to bite his thumb, emulated a snarl and then spat out Remus’s finger. Remus was kissed and kissed, his lover’s mouth tart and salty and so, so hungry, just as hungry as it had been earlier when it latched onto Remus’s cock. Sirius held his face while he kissed him, deeper and deeper, and Remus was coming undone again, was being held and thrust against, midsections sliding just right, just where he wanted it, and if he could only ignore the stabs of pain for a moment longer... He was pressed against the wall and Sirius’s slight advantage in height and more than slight advantage in muscle mass had an absurdly profound effect on the way Remus’s body reacted. He melted, small and moist and pliable, an armful of putty held fast by someone clever and experienced, eager for the care he habitually received from big strong hands that only ever caressed him, and of course for that hot, slippery mouth that could take it all…

With a roar of anguish and fury the wolf was back. Remus found his hands grabbing Sirius by his muscly upper arms and slamming him around, up, up, up against the wall. Sirius, who had hastened to tilt his head forward before he hit the wall, now with equal haste lifted his chin. The wolf made a content noise and Remus bent down, neck cracking loudly in the shared privacy, panting he sniffed at the discreet protrusion that was Sirius’s Adam’s apple, then down an inch or two to fully explore the exposed neck of his lover. His skin had the consistency of meticulously whipped cream. Firm and rich and so, so soft. Clean shaven, pores wide open and perspiration glistening, and right here, right here there had been a second bump before. He had touched Sirius in this spot, caressed his throat and felt his own dickhead on the other side. Right before Sirius had begun to choke and spit up.

The wolf didn’t understand the point of oral sex, but Remus couldn’t get enough of it and the animal within had experienced it in his body during the perverted games they played in the lead-up. The wolf dropped in on Remus, an uninvited voyeur, and it continually attempted to take over his mind whenever the moon swelled in the sky. The closer they got to the full, the stronger the wolf got. Still, it was always kicked out in mere seconds and never allowed much say in Remus’s head. It kept pawing at the door, though, kept attempting to partake. An animal need that got muddled up when it experienced tiny snippets of what loving Sirius was like.

Remus hated the foul beast in his head, but Sirius lived to be contrary and had gotten into the bad habit of welcoming the wolf into their home. Seconds at a time a few days each month of the strangest triage there had surely ever been.

As soon as Remus could manage it, the wolf was ejected. Sometimes Remus thought that the punishment for this was the marrow-deep ache in his body that wouldn’t shift no matter what. It felt like there was gravel in his joints and a fever in his head. The arousal he felt was scarcely human either, aggressive, domineering and relentless. 

Remus kissed the expanse of neck he had seen his cock batter against some minutes ago. Soft both outside and in. First Sirius had crawled by his feet, slaved away on his cock like he had been starved for it and then, for the pièce de résistance, turned 180 degrees so that most of his face got buried in Remus’s balls, but also so that his arched neck complete with pulsing cock inside was displayed like an art installation to be admired from above. Remus hadn’t stood a chance after, a sensory overload that only a mind like Sirius’s could come up with. And then the wolf had overpowered them both.

Remus tried to be kind to Sirius’s handsome throat now. Gave it nice, sweet kisses. It had been so good to them. Made them come so well. He lingered, though, he couldn’t quite leave it alone despite how thoroughly you might think he’d already had it. It was the scent, he thought. Maybe. The smell of Sirius’s body, mixing with his own. Two lives entwined. They shared it all nowadays and like two tomcats, the very best of friends, they kept rubbing against each other, kept writing each other over with their scents. Reiterating it, reinforcing it. A shared perfume that had emerged and settled, one equally potent to the cursed ache in Remus’s bones. The wolf could smell it, and what was more, it had decided that it liked it. Maybe two could become three. Or maybe the wolf could take Remus’s place in the grand scheme of smells.

The wolf bit down while Remus held Sirius in place, flat against the wall. Sirius groaned and in retaliation they pressed their sore hips forwards, hipbones chafing, fat erections getting squished, and they gnawed harder to drive the point home. There needed to be a mark here, there was no other way to look at the matter.

Remus was coming back to himself and he was close. Near. Touching. Sirius was rubbing off against him and Remus willed him to get off quickly. He himself was getting there fast, because every time Sirius thrust against him it felt as though he was attempting to flee, and every time he did Remus pushed him back against the wall and sank his teeth a little deeper. Every time Sirius moaned and it became clear that he wasn’t trying to get away at all.

Remus came rapidly and ungracefully, leaning all his weight on his lover and rubbing his groin and the wet come into Sirius for as long as he could before he got sensitive. Sirius didn’t come. Remus peeked at the bruise he had made on his neck, then leant back in and sucked on it. He let Sirius carry his weight.

He could feel Sirius’s hands caressing his back, gentler than usual but still with a bit of firmness and eventually stopping by his shoulder blades to try to untie the knots underneath. The wolf growled but they would let him do this. Remus knew why they wanted this and the wolf would let him. It felt rather nice.

They could smell the blood, pounding steadily underneath the skin. Big, throbbing jugular, and one little bite… It was good blood, fresh. Uncontaminated. They could have a feast, but then this body was useful for other things as well. Accommodating. 

They would need to hold it down and breed it. Another generation secured. It needed to happen because…

The wolf was whining now, low in its throat like before, but without its previous aggressions. Sirius was a rather talented masseuse. Not too hard, and this was a must because they were hurt. Their body was sick with fever. The parts inside weren’t functioning like they should; there was grit in the gears, joints like splinters and their bones distressingly fragile. They weren’t long for this world; it wouldn’t be long until their body perished and was replaced by…

“I don’t want to change,” Remus whispered, and he found he was crying against Sirius’s neck.

“You’ll have to,” Sirius whispered, hands warm on his back. “But I’ll be right here with you the entire time. I’ll be here with you after.”

Remus sobbed and snuffled into his long black hair. It smelled of shampoo and come.

“Are you blowing your nose in my hair?” Sirius teased him, petting his sides, “I feel like I’m being downgraded from come rag to snot rag.”

Remus wanted to say ‘I hate you’ but it didn’t come out like that. He sneaked a peek at Sirius and was kissed on his forehead and then, horror of horrors, on his nose. Sirius smacked his lips as though he was contemplating a new flavour, and Remus groaned and hid away again, feeling the suppressed laughter tumbling around inside Sirius’s ribcage.

“I love you too.”

“Ha, that’s still raw, babe.”

The wolf growled and got hold of the whole chunk of minced meat. It ripped into it, bits flying but no matter. They needed sustenance. 

“Fancy a cuppa?”

“Yes please,” Remus said guiltily. It was over in a flash but part of his hand was still smeared in shockingly pink mince mixed with a bit of onion and garlic and egg and salt. Leftovers that had not yet seen the frying pan. Wouldn’t at all now that the wolf had gotten hold of it.

They’d had Sirius’s homemade burgers earlier, in fact it had become a tradition for them to have hamburgers before the full moon. Remus always had his just barely cooked, juicy and pink inside, but still… This was a new low.

“Scourgify!” Sirius said, barely looking and yet effectively getting rid of the spillage on the floor. His other hand was busy making tea for them. 

It kept crashing down on Remus. He was trying to keep his body from trembling, because every movement, no matter how small, hurt. He was sweating profusely, body feverish and fatigued, yet his prick was rock hard and jutting out ridiculously in front of him. Whatever temporary relief he might get from getting off or from getting a massage was not enough, and he wished he could go to sleep and just wake up when his time came. He wished there was a simple way of solving it. Fast-forward, transform, survive, done. If only the wolf wasn’t wide awake.

“Do you need more food?”

“No thank you.”

“Hmm. Come here, love.”

Remus shuffled forward. Sirius was waiting for him beside the sink, smiling but not quite managing to hide the worry in his eyes. Remus hated that he was responsible for it.

“Hands,” Sirius said gently.

Remus gave them to him and looked away guiltily; he had already forgotten what he had done. Sirius held them under warm water, first, then soaped them up. He turned this too into a massage and Remus heard some joints in his fingers pop.

“You’ll stop me if I’m too much?” Remus said. His eyes were stinging again as though he was about to cry, but he was so sexually aroused that it had to be something else. Some foreign emotion seeping into him from the beast within, he thought. He smelled strongly of sweat, a more pungent type than normal although undoubtedly it was still his. Had to be. His prick was leaking pre-ejaculate, and he could smell that too. He didn’t want to be aroused, he wanted to sleep. There was perspiration dripping down his temples, down his cheeks. Almost like tears.

“You’re just right, love. Exactly what I want.”

Remus looked up and stared imploringly at him, his face hot and wet. It hurt to raise his neck.

“I’ll stop you if the wolf tries to exceed his authority. I do want to get fucked, though.”

Remus squinted and attempted to discern if he was just putting on a brave face. Sirius was putting on lipstick in the bedroom mirror, but that might not be the same thing.

“It’s a nice colour on you,” Remus said dully. His penis was so, so hard and he wouldn’t know what to do with himself soon. His eyes were drawn to Sirius’s arse, which was barely covered by a flimsy skirt for the occasion. The wolf needed to mate. Needed to be tricked into thinking that it had mated. Maybe then it would leave Remus in peace…

“Yeah? Cheers, darling.”

A small missile landed on the bed next to him and Remus stared at it. A muggle lipstick, bright red. It smelled artificially like cherries.

Remus traced the ugly red smear on his lover’s behind with the tip of his dick. An ‘S’ his dick read, then an ‘L’, then what was a very squiggly ‘U’. ‘T’ distorted by a bitemark. He let go of his drooping, dripping dick and focused on the big picture. His own poor penmanship forming a eulogy to Sirius’s arsehole in red lipstick.

He put his thumbs close to the fucked-out little thing and pulled on the skin on either side. It closed up so devilishly fast, and Remus was slow today. Tonight. Dirty words, livid handprints where he had smacked down on soft flesh and all of it covered in ropes and ropes of semen, several batches, all drying in a criss-cross pattern together. Round cheeks so very tender, white velvety skin where Sirius remained untouched, but mostly… Remus could see exactly where the flat of his hand had hit, could see contrasting bruises where his fingers had dug in to keep him still while he fucked into him, could see teeth prints so clear his dentist could have identified him from just that. And, of course, the tiny little centrepiece. Cherry red, and to think it had looked stretched beyond recognition before, but now… 

He hummed softly over the disgusting noise of fluid squirting out of Sirius’s tightly clenched anus, over his lover’s sharp hiss of pain, over the noise of two of the joints in Remus’s fingers popping, cracking like broken twigs.

“Satisfied?” 

Sirius sounded marginally less wrecked than he looked. Remus let go of his arse and pulled gently at his thigh instead to get him to turn around and sit up. Just to make sure. He had asked for it, and it was too late now anyways, but… Better make quite sure.

The remnant of his shirt was hanging in strips over one shoulder. His hair was matted on one side and he had more dried come on his neck and collarbone. The wolf had used Remus’s teeth all over. Sirius’s nipples were bad, he could see now that he shouldn’t have… But they had tasted so nice, felt so nice between his teeth. Sirius’s dick was half-hard, and that made Remus smile before he lifted his sore neck and looked into his eyes. He’d come to expect the taunting, playful gleam in them, but as usual there was a lot more affection in them than what he was prepared for. 

“You should suck my dick,” Remus said to cover up the way his throat tightened. 

“Big, bad wolf wants to be licked clean?” Sirius suggested while he crawled the remaining paces to Remus. Remus could smell him in the air, their mingled sweat and Remus’s semen like an aura around him, and he could feel his bright red, wet, perfectly exhausted prick react. Sirius got right in his face, his shiny lips looking bee-stung, his jawline smattered with love bites.

“I can’t stop thinking about your big, dirty cock releasing all inside me, I could feel you spunking that last time. I’m so fucking full I’m dripping with it, my thighs are wet with it.”

Remus grunted. 

“Bet it’ll take, hmm?”

He could feel the wolf right there with him, its ears pricked, its nostrils wide, accepting the words and the delicious scent as proof of success. Sirius began laughing quietly in Remus’s ear, but the wolf wasn’t in on the joke. Wet, soft mouth on his earlobe and Remus was growing hard again. It hurt but by god it was happening again.

“You’ve dressed me up in a tight little skirt and spanked me raw. Played with my nipples so much they feel like desperately swollen tits. You’ve come in my ear and all over my neck,” Sirius whispered, voice hoarse, “down my throat, obviously. Inside my arse, then all over it. Twice.”

Remus groaned.

“Yeah. Busy day, hmm?”

“You don’t have to -”

“Oh fuck you, when have I ever said no to a thick, pulsing, come-filled, succulent meat lolly?”

Remus grinned despite himself, despite how the throbbing in his forehead and jaw hinges intensified. Sirius grinned right back, his stretched lips looking ready to burst.

“I’m just pointing out what a marvel of nature you are, love.”

Remus's smile died but Sirius was already bending down over his lap and didn’t spot it. Remus keened when he felt Sirius mouth over his smarting dickhead. His body was falling apart at the seams with pain and greed and he tried to lie down without anything flaring up. His eyes were wet when they blinked open again, his back against blankets and pillows, his head spinning like he was high. Sirius was holding his shaft like it was the delicate stem of a flower but sucking on the head just like he had promised, like it was a delicious lollipop he couldn’t get enough of. The wolf blinked at the vision, confusion mingling with gratification, then greed. Simple, animal greed.

Sirius held his prick and licked him, all the way from underneath his balls to the tip of his penis. Remus moaned and tried to spread his legs, hurt himself in the process, but then Sirius was tonguing at his opening and the pained whimpers morphed into bliss.

“Right there, right there,” Remus spurred him on, and Sirius pushed his tongue into his arsehole and his fingers against his perineum. Remus saw little bursts of light in front of his eyes, felt Sirius push and push then lick his way up to his dickhead while firmly pressing a couple of knuckles against Remus’s perineum, like he could get inside, far away yet close enough to where his prostate was. Remus came with a sob, knuckles rubbing into him, his dick spasming in Sirius’s soft, warm mouth. There was no come at all, none left. It hurt much, much more than it felt good.

Movement stilled gradually but he was still being kissed. Remus opened his wet eyes and watched. 

“I was promised come,” Sirius said before he licked around the crown, slowly and thoroughly. “Mmm…”

“You’re such a slut for it,” Remus said weakly. He had never felt so drained in his life.

“Oh you’ve caught onto that, have you?”

“Yeah,” Remus whispered, wondering yet again how it was always he who was left feeling humiliated. The wolf was readying to take a nap, curling up between his ears. It felt no shame, just like Sirius apparently didn’t. The guilt he felt and the soreness in his dick was almost helping him with ignoring the pain in literally every other part of his body. Almost.

“Such a pretty cock you’ve got,” Sirius continued. “And all that flavour… Love it. Although I do of course appreciate the decorative elements of this too, getting to swallow isn’t all there is to it.”

“My slut.”

“Moony’s filthy come slut.”

Sirius turned his head with a smirk; he could see the reflection of his arse in the wardrobe mirror.

“Yeah, thought that was you scribbling an ‘S.’ Bit heavy-handed, though, aren’t you?”

“Mmm.” The wolf wasn’t quite asleep yet. Remus watched his lover through stinging eyes. He was so very hurt, but as long as Sirius was there with him, smiling like that…

“Need to pee?”

Remus was cognizant enough to blush deeply. He shook his head as slowly as he could, blood boiling at his temples. He wished he had some dignity left. The pain had never been the worst thing about this. How he ached. He saw Sirius gaze longingly at the bedroom door, but then come to a different decision and turn back to Remus instead. He heaped blankets around him, pillow underneath his head. A bit like a nest. Remus got hold of his wrist and he could not let go. 

“Yeah, good idea, let’s take a nap,” Sirius whispered. He aimed his wand with his free hand and the lights went out. It was dawn already and, besides, the wolf could see rather well even when it was dark.

Sirius laid down and the wolf pulled him in possessively, pawing and turning his body to see. Then embracing him. He smelled exquisitely now. Like a healthy, strong, fertile, unafraid youth drenched in semen. The right semen. Theirs.

Remus settled into uneasy sleep with his arm around Sirius, palm cupping his stomach.

Remus woke up nauseous. He produced several rather pathetic whimpers, then some abortive retching.

“Stomach playing up?”

Sirius sounded wide awake and he smelled so bad Remus tried to turn his head, his stomach roiling and cold sweat breaking out all over his torso. 

“Right, I’ve got you…”

The world spun and doubled and fell sideways. Remus was bundled up and hoisted into Sirius’s arms and carried off. He just refrained from vomiting over his shoulder.

Sirius groaned from the strain it took to lower Remus slowly to the ground next to the toilet. It was cold and demeaning to be left on the floor and Remus’s hands slipped on the porcelain when he bent over it to puke his guts out.

“There, there…”

Sirius was gathering his hair behind his neck and mumbling something soothing in his ear, too close to his mouth. Remus tried to close it but that just made him cough, made more come up, burn up his throat, the dregs of what he had eaten before sleep. It was pink and mushy like he’d devoured something innocent. The bile dripping out of his mouth was yellowish. 

“Leave me.”

Sirius hummed and kissed his sweaty neck, got to his feet slowly like he was making a point. Remus would have made a run for it if he had been able to crawl, let alone walk. 

“I’ve got some dried spunk in my ear, let’s see if I can get rinse it out.”

Remus spat into the bowl and heard Sirius step into the shower singing softly to himself. _Lost in the Supermarket_. Remus was beginning to shake with cold, although he was still sweating as well. His legs were going numb against the hard tiles and he thought he had vomit in his nostrils. The smell of his stomach acid mingled with the lime and mint soap his lover bought for them both. 

All too soon the noise of cascading water stopped and Sirius was back by his side, telling him that his ears were sparkling clean now, loud and excited like it was a funny joke between just the two of them. Three. Remus didn’t want to look at him. He had only the vaguest of recollections of the state he had left his lover in before they fell asleep.

The stomach acid and the half-digested pink things swirled with the toilet bowl water and were sucked down the pipes. Remus coughed pathetically and let Sirius raise him from the floor and place him on the toilet seat. 

He saw a plethora of bitemarks, one brighter than the next.

Remus looked down at his thighs and wouldn’t look back at Sirius even though he had bent down and was lowering his head until they were face to face. There might be disgust in those eyes if he looked. Reproach for all Remus had made him do. For what he was having to witness now.

Sirius wiped a stray tear away with his thumb, then he lifted Remus’s chin and kissed him. Licked slowly into his mouth, deeply and thoroughly.

Remus closed his eyes and let it happen.

Only when the tap to the bathroom sink was turned on did Remus dare open his eyes again. Sirius was wetting his toothbrush. Remus held onto the toilet and watched him.

“What would it take to gross you out?”

Sirius frowned and spat out a mouthful of toothpaste.

“Why would the human body gross me out?”

“Because bodies are gross,” Remus said slowly, then quieter: “Because I’m not human.”

“None of your shit talk now. Here, I’ll help you with your teeth.”

Remus opened his mouth and let Sirius do the brushing. He was too off-balance to let go of the toilet seat; with his luck he would probably fall in if he let go.

“Easiest if you spit between your legs. I’ll draw you a bath after, don’t worry.”

Remus couldn’t quite fathom what the point of a bath for him would be. In mere hours he’d be side-along apparated into a remote forest before changing into a werewolf. His body would be going through hell and dirty, wet places. There was no reason for him to clean up beforehand.

Sirius seemed to disagree, though, and there was already steam and more lime and mint scent rising from the tub. The red and yellow bath ducks were staring challengingly at Remus. Sirius flushed the toilet before lifting him and carrying him the few steps it took to get there. Remus suddenly felt that awful pull again, that beast waking up and grappling at Sirius’s back and neck, distrustful of being lowered into hot water. Then came the need to smell his lover. To touch.

“I’ll let you sit in here for a bit, shall I?” Sirius said when Remus’s fingers tried to become claws, digging into his arm. “Need to fix myself up a bit too, d’you remember which jar had the stuff that smelled of elderflower?”

Remus grunted and released him. Sirius stepped over to the sink and the bathroom cabinet. He was much too energetic for Remus, pulling out crystal bottles and thin, tightly corked phials and even some plastic muggle containers.

“Found it!”

Sirius turned triumphantly to show him a jar which etiquette had Lily’s handwriting on it. Remus stared glumly at it, then he let his eyes wander. If the wolf hadn’t chosen this moment to reappear, he would have been consumed by guilt. He should have been, any decent person would have been. Anyone human.

The wolf had used Remus’s teeth and hands and nails to mark Sirius all over, what had been pale and sheer was all a livid red with a hint of purple beginning to show. It looked very painful, and yet the wolf felt no remorse. Remus could tell that the beast would become unreasonable as soon as the marks disappeared and he almost managed to ask Sirius not to heal himself. To leave his skin ugly and broken. They could have matched.

“I’ll leave one, shall I?”

Remus blushed and considered slipping underneath the water and just letting go.

“I reckon this one might be the favourite?” Sirius said slyly. He again sounded as if he thought this was a joke. Remus looked at where he was indicating and felt his stomach become gooey, felt his raw, hurt penis twitch in the water.

“Yeah.”

Sirius laughed and then he continued applying the healing salve on his body. Remus didn’t look, he kept the wolf from watching on purpose. All that hard work, all for nothing in the end. It was as if they had never had Sirius at all.

“I think you hurt your hip last night on the table, so we’ll put some on you as well, hmm? Once you’re out of the water.”

Remus kept his gaze averted. As long as he didn’t move a muscle his body felt more numb than hurt in the hot water. His mouth felt clean. After a while Sirius came back into his field of vision. He sat down on the edge of the tub opposite from Remus. Remus let his gaze wander. His skin was a fairy-tale white now. Completely even and smooth like he had never lived at all. 

Except for the tattoos. Snapshots of things that had happened in a previous life. And there it was, the proud product of Remus’s teeth. Scarlet where he had broken the skin and the rest turning into the colour of a smashed plum. It leered at him from the vulnerable flesh low on Sirius’s stomach, right next to the tattoo spelling Remus’s name.

Sirius’s body told lots of stories. There were benefits to eating enough and doing your strength exercises. He could be flung about and fucked into shape and still be fine after. He took good care of his hair, brushed some, plucked some, shaved some, trimmed some. He always seemed to be warm, never cold. Never needing the extra blankets they kept on the top shelf in the wardrobe.

The wolf was sniffing the air, attempting to get underneath the heavy artificial notes from the soap. Sirius smelled delicious. Perfectly healthy and whole. And there was no mistaking the strength in his body either. Carefully cultivated muscle on a sturdy frame. Strong hands, big thighs, broad shoulders. 

And then there was the beauty. Sirius smiled at him, which brought the immaculate artistry in his face into even greater relief.

As usual the confusion settled like wool around Remus’s brain. The wolf thought their lover was beautiful too. Not just ideal to let help them when they were weak and to breed full and to sink their teeth into. The wolf thought he was beautiful to look at.

“Had a good soak?”

Remus nodded once. He was jealous, he realized, but not in the normal way. Not jealous of whoever else and their mother Sirius had slept with before him. 

It was envy Remus felt. The wolf liked Sirius better than anyone else. Preferred him to everyone, including Remus. It had never found potential in Remus’s body, nothing good, nothing to cherish and feel at home in. Weaknesses upon weaknesses. His body was barely strong enough to survive the transformations, and his human mind did not want the wolf to be allowed inside or out. There was no beauty for the wolf to discover here, Remus thought, bowing his heavy head to watch his own bony, slightly crooked fingers and his discoloured skin. His pubes looked like a nest any self-respecting bird would abandon as a bad job, and his cock was hideous; veiny, rubbed raw and bobbing half-hard in the water. 

“Can I drain the tub or do you need a minute?”

“I’m done.”

Remus missed the water the second the level began to sink around him. He tried to hide how his body began to tremble, but he had never been very successful at hiding things from Sirius. Sirius scooped him up like he was a child.

“Towels,” Sirius muttered to himself, bending down and picking things up with Remus lying like a ragdoll over his shoulder, “elderflower thingy. Felt nice on my skin, actually, you’re in for a bit of a treat.”

Remus privately thought there was little chance he would find any enjoyment in life for the foreseeable future, but then, maybe Sirius was speaking to the wolf. He had a suspicion that Sirius did, sometimes. That they communicated behind Remus’s back.

“Oomph…” 

“Oh look how pretty you are, spread out like this.”

There was arousal in Sirius’s voice. Remus tried to hide, but the aches were back and his strength all drained. Lifting his neck was too much work, let alone any body part that might have helped him slink out of sight. He found himself on his back on their kitchen table, but Sirius had had the foresight to put a thick blanket and a white bath towel underneath him. He could see how sickly his skin looked in comparison to the fresh whiteness, with his faded freckles standing out like eyesores on his goose-pimpled arms. Sirius began patting him dry. The wolf whined in the depths of Remus’s head. There was nothing fun about this, about this level of exposure. For once wolf and man agreed; Remus’s body really was useless.

Sirius’s hands slowed down and became exceedingly gentle around Remus’s groin. He choked down his pride and sneaked a look. Sirius’s face was heavy with emotion, more than he usually showed. Pain and worry. He was petting Remus’s cock with the edge of the towel, then his hip. Not the hip that was scarred almost beyond repair, the one that was unfeeling because the chopped-up skin and tendons and muscle and nerves had never healed right after the cursed bite that had brought Remus and the wolf together in the first place. No, Sirius was touching his other hip, now with the tips of his fingers, the one he had said Remus had hurt last night. Remus couldn’t remember it, couldn’t feel that it hurt more than anywhere else, but he certainly had to look away from Sirius’s face.

Sirius would say his reaction was all because Remus was hurting, but sometimes Remus wondered…

“Some salve, love, can I put it on you?”

“Yeah.”

“You’ve got a bruise here,” Sirius explained, suddenly sounding like nothing much was the matter, “just a little one, we’ll get rid of it in no time.”

Remus grunted in reply. Sirius was tracing wet fingers over his hip, right where the bone was.

“Your mouth,” Sirius continued, suddenly his sticky, very aromatic fingers were on Remus’s bottom lip, touching him. He could feel a soreness he hadn’t really noticed before recede, then Sirius’s fingers left his face. “And the big one, hmm? Your cock.”

Remus’s hips moved quite against his wishes and he felt winded by the searing pain in the joints there. His cock was being stroked in a loose fist with the salve as lubricant. He didn’t have to look to know that he was chubbing up again, his penis throbbing but not from pain anymore. 

“Should have healed this last night, but I didn’t see how bad it was until now. It’s such a nice cock, Remus. It will be right as rain now. Feels so good in my hand.”

Remus again wished there were some dignity left for him to draw on. Some self-restraint. He was miserable, and yet the wolf was crowding him out of his own mind, taking over, telling him to take what he could get. Nothing in his mind was his anymore. Sirius wasn’t only his. It wasn’t safe, these thoughts he had, how could he be safe when he lay exposed and powerless on his back like a cockroach tipped onto the table. 

The wolf grunted with appreciation and thrust their hips despite how much they ached. There was no point in stamina as far as the beast was concerned, and the chase for orgasm was over in seconds. The wolf howled, made proper use of Remus’s vocal cords, and pumped madly for a few seconds, then stilled. Peace and quiet after, just the delicate noise of Sirius lapping up come from their belly.

“Sorry about that, I wouldn’t have left you alone normally, but you know what Mad-Eye’s like. He was a right little bitch about not being allowed to floo here, apparently apparition is too time-consuming for great men like him. But we got it sorted out in the bomb shelter, or whatever the muggles call it, the big concrete chamber underneath our block of flats, you know. He’d been sent some photographs by owl post this morning. They suspect that Rabastan Lestrange is hiding in the Highlands, but get this, he’s been going to the local pub -”

“Could he smell it on you?”

“The weed? Nah, don’t think so. Or if he did, he wasn’t bothered by it.”

Remus, who had been entertaining more wolf thoughts than human ones, was not referring to the drugs, but rather to his own scent. His body on Sirius. The scent of Sirius being recently mated with. The smell that should tell any potential rivals that Sirius was his.

“Good, good.” Remus raised a tired arm and dragged Sirius towards him, anyway. Dropped the butt of the joint in the crystal ball cut in half they used as a makeshift ashtray. Then he felt Sirius up and smelled his neck, his hair. Sirius stayed quiet and cupped his chin and kissed him.

He had mere hours left, now, and with that there usually came a lucid period. Calm. A growing sense of purpose. He was still tired and in pain but he was much more present. The wolf was mostly a disconnected roar echoing from the depths of his subconscious. 

Sirius gave him another long, messy blowjob, but Remus’s prick stopped working halfway through and Sirius was left mouthing at a sizeable slab of freshly-healed, elderflower-smelling, entirely flaccid meat. He seemed to take almost as much enjoyment in it as he did in the stiff version. Remus watched him lazily while he smoked. Sirius deep-throated him and choked on him and licked the excess saliva off him. Weighed him in his palm. Tickled him. Buried his face in his pubes and nosed along the purple veins and dipped his tongue underneath his freckly foreskin. Sirius looked him in the eye and kissed his head, tenderly and passionately. 

Remus vowed to never tell him that he couldn’t even remember what arousal felt like this close to the transformation.

He knew from the way Sirius was breathing that he was hard, and Remus wished he had it in him to be a better man and reciprocate.

“We’ve got time for another spliff, d’you want some more?”

Remus nodded and watched Sirius kiss his cock goodbye and place it back in his underwear with lovingly gentle hands. His head was heavy and he was nauseous again. He hadn’t had any appetite all day, though, and there was nothing to sick up. So instead, he smoked some more and watched Sirius tidy up in the bedroom and listened to him clank around in the kitchen. This time around he was singing _Spanish Bombs_ and pronouncing the Spanish in the chorus almost like it was French.

They met James in a forest in Scotland surrounded by partially barren mountains. The leaves were dead on the trees there were, the larches yellow. The ground was wet and sludgy and Remus stared at it with mounting despair, wrapped in a huge blanket but with his feet bare and cold as ice in the dirt. There was a dark grey decomposed leaf sticking to his big toe, itching, keeping his attention put. The cold and the darkness and the remoteness scared his human self. The freedom was all the wolf could think about.

“Don’t worry about it, it’s much better that it’s going through the official channels. The aurors exist for a reason. I reckon Moody went to you first because he thought you knew Lestrange and would be better at fighting him. Personally, I think he’s being paranoid again, no reason the aurors can’t handle him. As I recall it Lestrange wasn’t much of a threat last time we saw him, yeah? And besides, you never knew either of the Lestrange brothers, did you? Just Bellatrix.”

Remus’s legs gave out and he sank down to his knees. The mud cushioned him a bit and he managed to not cry out.

Futility was what the human being inside him felt, futility and horror. That name had terrorized Sirius and it terrorized Remus.

The human was losing the fight over Remus’s body, however. The wolf was smelling the night air, smelling the fresh human meat nearby. The wolf was winning.

“I just don’t like leaving my dirty work to someone else, even if it technically is their job, too. It didn’t have to be, which you know, and don’t give me that look. I could have killed him last year, and this proves that I should have. I had the chance, and I didn’t take it. It’s because of me he’s still out there. They never caught me for any of the curses I used during the war, one more wouldn’t have mattered.”

There was something ruthless in that voice, and it seemed to echo in the silence that followed.

“I think you’re lying to yourself. I don’t reckon it would have made you feel better. Once he’s caught by the aurors, though, I think we should throw a party. Celebrate his indefinite stay in Azkaban. Bet he dies in there within the year.”

“I’ll dance on Rabastan Lestrange’s grave alright. Maybe a foxtrot.”

The wolf threw its head back and howled at the full moon above.

The pain was but a distant memory. The wolf ran and ran, swerving trees, free at last, its paws quiet against the leafy ground. The stag’s hooves were louder, they smattered like rain on the ground. The dog panted loudly and happily and brought up the rear. The stag led the way, it always did and the wolf followed, mostly. They were coming to a halt in a clearing. Always the joker, the dog wrestled them both into a bush and wagged its tail. The wolf gave back as good as it got. They had the whole forest to explore, the smells and the soothing darkness. Companionship. The wolf wished it could be like this always. Happy and carefree the way it had longed for. Oh to not have to bear this alone, ever again.

The pain came back with a vengeance and the wolf whimpered then staggered sideways and began to thrash about, mindlessly smashed itself full force into the ground, into a rock. It did not wish to leave, it could not bear the thought of everything being taken away from it again. Life and limb.

“Babe I need to lift your shoulders to get the blanket underneath you, we need to -”

The left one wasn’t working and Remus whined and whined and with a surge of adrenalin he grabbed Sirius’s head with his right hand and forced him close, got to his mouth. It tasted of mud and rainwater and like Sirius was dehydrated.

Remus was sure he was dying, sure that something had gone horribly wrong. He had never felt pain this bad in his life, surely not even the cruciatus curse…

“Sirius his arm is… Hang on.”

Remus bit down on Sirius’s lip by mistake, a foreign, hot surge spreading around his elbow and then a loud snapping noise, like a rock smashing into another rock.

“What’s that? What are you saying?”

Sirius’s voice was panicked in a way Remus had never heard it before. He felt his breath fanning over his face and some blood dripping down from his mouth and splattering next to Remus’s nose.

“I fixed it already, ‘twas no biggie. Feel alright now, Remus?”

Remus tried to nod. His face was wet with tears and mud and he was beginning to shake uncontrollably from the cold. He could move both arms now, but he found that he’d rather not. The adrenalin was wearing off fast.

“Thought so. You can go back to snogging each other now, I’m sure there’s a couple more tonsils in there to explore. Speaking of which, I need to get home to Lily. I’ll let you know on the mirror if I hear anything from Moody, yeah?”

“Please do,” Sirius said, his voice awash with relief and his gentle hands spreading the dirt on Remus’s arms around.

Remus tried to croak out a ‘thank you’, but admittedly there was little chance of James understanding anything from his speech. His vocal cords were devastated.

There was a pat on his head and then a loud crack that echoed downhill. They were high up, Remus saw. Pointy treetops in a row further down, but the vegetation was withered and sparse up here. The sky was light grey and promised more rain. No sun, but no moon either. No moon.

“Shh now,” Sirius whispered in his ear. He was crying again and he couldn’t seem to stop. He was making the blanket he was wrapped up in horribly dirty and he shouldn’t push his filthy face into Sirius’s pristine neck. He was doing it anyway.

Sirius got naked as soon as he had lowered Remus into the empty bathtub and put a folded towel behind his head. Remus watched with hollow eyes. His feet in particular were pins and needles from the sudden reappearance of warmth around him. He didn’t wish to look at himself, which wasn’t a new phenomenon by any means. The aftermath of the moon always made the futility and the self-loathing particularly bad, though. Made him hate his body more than usual. Made him see nothing but flaws. Made him wish he hadn’t made it through the night at all.

Sirius had an erection. Remus stared vacantly at it until its existence became too jarring and he blinked and bowed his head. Caught an unwilling glimpse of himself.

His thin chest was smeared with filth and rotting leaves. His bony limbs were trembling and he couldn’t feel his fingers, nor his toes. And Sirius, who was now humming _Lover’s Rock_ to himself, was behaving as though he was about to crawl on top of him and fuck him.

It would be alright, Remus decided sluggishly in his head. _You must treat your lover girl right._ It would be only fair. Remus did want things to be fair, and he always felt like he kept taking and taking. Perhaps he could give back in some little way. It might mean something, if he offered now despite having next to nothing left to give. He could offer up the scraps of the body the wolf had left behind and let Sirius attempt to get off with it.

“How are we going to do this, then? Maybe if I vanish it as we… Hmm.”

Remus kept his eyes shut; he was beginning to cry again. He had no real right to ask Sirius to wait. He could see it clearly, now; he had not let Sirius orgasm once yesterday, nor the night before. The wolf made him even more selfish than he normally was, and Sirius must have run out of patience. He had to be allowed to collect what he was owed, and his visible arousal suggested that he could make do with a dirty fuck with someone that might as well have been dead for all he could participate.

Warm water burst out of the handheld showerhead, the one that should have been attached to the shower at the other side of the bathroom. Remus peaked out from underneath his matted fringe. He squinted and saw that the hose to the showerhead had been elongated beyond its muggle capacity. Sirius held it over his collarbones and washed him, his other hand still held his wand and he appeared to be vanishing the grey water that sluiced down Remus’s sides.

“We’ll get you nice and clean, hmm? Then get some food in you and we can cuddle up and sleep. Almost there, precious.”

Comprehension dawned and left Remus feeling silly. Not just silly, it went deeper. It was rather awful, what he had presumed… But it was all his post-moon brain, he told himself. It was only to be expected, wasn’t it? Remus looked up and saw Sirius peering down at his belly with tired, fond eyes, all soft in the corners. His bottom lip was still bleeding.

“Sorry.”

There was a pause, but Remus had managed not to garble that word and there was no way he hadn’t heard. Sirius stared him down, inscrutability wiping off all that loving goodness that had been there before.

“To my knowledge there’s nothing you need to apologize for.”

Remus swallowed against the scratches in his throat and looked back down at himself. Sirius took his penis gently in hand and washed mud away from the unruly curls around it.

“Should I trim my pubes?”

Remus’s voice broke, but he needed to know. Sirius usually trimmed his neat and short, sometimes he shaved them off completely.

Sirius placed his palm on Remus’s forehead and aimed the showerhead for his legs.

“You don’t feel clammy. You definitely had a fever last night, though.”

Remus closed his eyes to hide that he was on the verge of tears again. Sirius was quiet for a long time, until all the dirt and leaves were washed away, until he had vanished them from the bottom of the tub and could start to fill the tub with clean water and lime and mint soap. The rubber ducks were bobbing by Remus’s feet, one innocent yellow one and one angry red one with devil horns.

“You keep your body any way you like it, love. As long as I can still get my mouth on you I have no further requests.”

Remus sniffled in reply and kept still. Sirius turned the showerhead momentarily on himself and gave his body a perfunctory wash, let it drip all over the bathroom floor. Then he crouched down at the opposite end and wrestled the red duck with his hand until he could rub Remus’s toes and the normally ticklish soles of his feet. Pressed his thumbs into the arches and released so much tension little lights burst across the darkness provided by Remus’s eyelids. All parts of his body got the same treatment, some for longer and some for mere seconds. It would appear that Sirius had found some tell in him, something that let him read his mind. Some way of knowing when it hurt too much.

Remus enjoyed having his hair washed possibly more than anything else. His head in many ways took the brunt of the damage each month, and Sirius was allowed to take all the time he wanted rubbing slow, soapy circles into Remus’s scalp. He fell asleep and woke back up more than once, more than once did Sirius have to switch out the old water for more clean and hot.

It was cathartic to have his head lowered almost all the way underneath the surface, too, to rinse. To almost become one with it, but now it felt less like suicidal ideation and more like resurrection.

“Just one part left to clean, now,” Sirius said contentedly when Remus’s head was back on the makeshift towel cushion. Remus blinked sleepily, then became aware of Sirius crouching by his midriff, as well as became aware of how Sirius’s prick still hadn’t gone soft.

It was a nice-looking penis, Remus thought with renewed fondness, craning his stiff neck to see it. Naughty body parts filled him with dread as a rule, especially male ones he supposed. In a different life he maybe wouldn’t have… But then, now that he had him, he knew he would never want anyone else. Body and mind and wolf all knew he had stumbled into a relationship with the right one. They would do anything to keep him. Might even join forces.

Penises weren’t that bad. Weird-looking, certainly, you might argue ugly. Remus’s own was quite ugly. Sirius’s was pink and sturdy and well-proportioned and vivacious. Springy when you played with it. Then again, Sirius famously had nothing ugly about him. Remus had a feeling that if you were to dress him up in rags or in Remus’s old clothes Sirius would still look like an exquisite model of a human being.

Sirius extracted Remus’s cock from the shallow depths. It looked like a very long slug and Remus stared unhappily at it. Sometimes he and Sirius both managed to convince Remus that his size was a good thing. He could grow thick and fat and even a bit longer than he currently was. Stretchy skin. But now here he was, weak and surely universally off-putting in Sirius’s beautifully formed hand, like an impotent, gross lump of discarded meat. 

Well, perhaps not impotent. Remus’s cheeks gained some colour. Sirius was busy cleaning him with lovingly gentle fingers, pulling his foreskin down and skimming his thumb around the head and pushing inside the stretchy, freckled folds. And Remus, of course, was growing firm in his hand.

“Already, hmm?”

Sirius was beaming down at his cock, hand stilling to just hold it so that they both could watch it grow plump and rigid, the eager dark head emerging like a one-eyed earth-dwelling brute. 

“Usually takes most of the day until you can get hard again.”

Remus watched despairingly. Sirius pulled his foreskin up and down, languidly and more gently than usually. Softly singing _I know a place I can kiss_. Then he sighed and dipped it back underneath the water.

“All clean, love.”

“You can fuck me now,” Remus said quietly. He stared fixedly at Sirius’s hand that was still holding him underneath the water surface. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You don’t have to wait,” Remus croaked, swallowing around the sharp things in his throat, “sorry, I mean you’ve already had to wait. I was awful yesterday, I shouldn’t have… But you can now, I’m clean now too, just like you said.”

“Of all the fucking things you… “

Remus swallowed and swallowed, because there was wrath in that voice, actual fury. He had seen Sirius angry many, many times but it had never been directed at him before. He tasted familiar bile at the back of his throat, pooling on his tongue.

Sirius was by the bathroom door before he suddenly stopped and turned back, walked right back to Remus and stood tall and fuming next to the tub. Remus tried to hide in the water.

“I’d _never_ ask you for sex straight after the full moon.”

Remus nodded quickly, then more hesitantly while he stared attentively at his submerged legs.

“You think I’d stoop so low that I’d take advantage of someone who is delirious with illness and has barely healed broken bones in their body?”

“No, I don’t. Sorry.”

Remus wanted to kick himself. Shame and guilt and humiliation were beginning to pull him pack under. But that wasn’t how he had seen it, far from it. Admittedly it seemingly was he who temporarily had forgotten what they had together. That he always got pampered after the full moon. Bathed and hand-fed and held close while he slept, while his body healed and his mind made its way back to normal.

“No, you don’t have to apologize. You aren’t… I’m sorry too, Remus. You’ve had a rough transformation and I’m sleep-deprived.”

“You got an erection,” Remus said eventually, although he could hear himself how loopy it sounded. How inconsequential.

“And you never get a random stiffy around me? Fuck you.”

Instead of storming off again Sirius sweeped Remus and all his gangly limbs out of the tub, water splashing over the edges and over himself. 

“Towel,” Sirius muttered. 

When he was carried off Remus peeked into his face and saw that he really looked worn out, despite the flawless skin and the hair falling elegantly around his face. His eyes were less bright than normal, his eyelids drooping. His feet were heavy and he was leaving wet prints all along their sitting room floor. The arms that carried Remus were strong, though.

He was deposited in the middle of their bed. There were clean sheets and several extra blankets on it and plenty of other things to look at too. Remus felt his heart sink while he observed the healing cremes and muggle pills and bandages and ready-rolled spliffs on one side, and the pre-cut fruit and chocolate on the other. There was a charmed packet of muggle ice cream as well, Remus could see how it glowed unnaturally, like it had been put under a charm that was beginning to fail. Sirius caressed him all over with a towel. Their bedroom was unusually hot, likely under another temperature charm. It helped Remus’s joints from flaring back up again.

“I want you to eat a little before you sleep.”

Remus made sure to nod dutifully. His insides felt rather like concrete and he suspected he would puke up anything he ate.

Sirius stared at him for a good long second, at Remus’s splayed out body and how it trembled. How he couldn’t hide how anxious he was. Defeated. Then Sirius smiled a little, kinder than Remus felt he deserved, but he knew better now than voicing those thoughts out loud. Sirius lifted him up in careful stages, until Remus’s legs were listlessly wrapped around Sirius’s hips and until he could lean his body against his strong lover. Could hide his face in his long black hair.

Sirius went for the ice cream. It was a light, springtime green and apparently pear flavoured. Remus had never had it before, but he thought they could both remember a time they had been together in the Prefects’ Bathroom. Sirius had touched him all over and they had both bathed in pear-scented water. Flushed with youthful memories, Remus complied before Sirius had to nag him and opened his mouth. Sirius was apparently past cutlery and dipped his hand straight into the packet and scooped some up with a crooked finger.  
Remus sucked timidly on his finger while Sirius held his body and watched him, so close their noses kept touching. There was no way to pretend that this wasn’t reminiscent of…

Sirius got some more on the same finger, repeated the procedure. Again and again Remus licked along his finger. Sucked. The pear had a lovely, mild flavour. Perfect for the occasion, it wasn’t even upsetting his stomach. Nice and cool on his throat, too, but not actually chilly because it was mostly melted by the time it hit Remus’s tongue.   
Remus fell asleep sucking on Sirius’s fingers. 

Remus woke up dressed in his thickest pyjamas and with his bright red home-knitted socks on his feet. His body was just the right temperature, delightfully warm and comfortable. Sirius was hugging him to his naked chest, the covers all the way up to Remus’s neck. Sirius was hot to the touch and rather sweaty. Remus stared intently at his face. He was beautiful in sleep, and a bit too beautiful at that. Angelic. His cheek and his arrogance and his experience didn’t show. It wasn’t fair, because he was so much more than just beautiful.

The bedroom smelled strongly of fruit and chocolate. Sirius had eaten some of it, and the ice cream appeared to be gone. There was plenty for breakfast for Remus, though. He could eat and let Sirius sleep.

Remus raised his left arm and found that it felt alright. A bit tingly and weak, but all healed. He didn’t have to hurt anymore. He used it to stroke away some hairs that were sticking to Sirius’s forehead. Mostly, Sirius’s hair looked as if it had been styled by a barber even though he was sleeping.

Remus sat up, taking the bedsheets with him, and found that his back was fine, that his thighs were twinging in an almost good way. Like he’d exercised thoroughly and needed a bit of stretching. Sirius squirmed and sighed contentedly, still fast asleep but now with air moving freely over his naked body, cooling him down.

He had an erection.

Remus pulled the blankets around himself for extra warmth, then bent down, savouring how his back worked just like it was supposed to. Sirius’s dick tasted of sweat and shampoo and it throbbed sweetly in Remus’s mouth. He held on gingerly to the base and sucked on the round, squishy head. Sirius’s neat pubes were soft against his hand and the awful bitemark glared at Remus next to the tattoo he loved. Remus vowed to look for the elderflower crème as soon as he was done.

“Mmm, Remus…” Sirius’s sparkling grey eyes opened at a crack, rubbing sleep from the corners and then extending the same hand to pet Remus’s face. Remus moaned and took his hand in his other one, squeezed both hand and dick. Nice and warm. His boyfriend’s eyes were a soft silver in the pale daylight and they looked as though they had never stopped loving Remus. Like it was Remus and Remus alone they melted for. 

Sirius never stopped complimenting him, never stopped telling him how good he was. His stamina apparently wasn’t that great after the full moon, either. Remus swallowed determinedly when two thick spurts hit the roof of his mouth.

“Come up here, precious, let’s taste it, hmm?”

“It tastes like pear,” Remus rasped; his voice still brittle after all that howling nonsense the night before. “Pear and salt.”

“Swallowed it all down like a good boy, eh?”

Sirius was laughing at him, pulling at his hand to get him to come back up to his face and Remus was blushing like he always ended up doing. He acquiesced, though, in fact he couldn’t quite move fast enough, that eager was he to get back in those safe strong arms, to be held and kissed and told the sweetest, dirtiest things in existence.

“Let me taste you, maybe there’s a bit left for me, hmm? Bit of delicious pear-flavoured spunk left we can share?”

Remus let his mouth be fully invaded, taken. He loved being taken, couldn’t wait to let Sirius have him all over, take him, taste him, get underneath his skin until they smelled of each other everywhere. They rolled over and Remus was on his back, his legs spread wide and he felt safe. He let Sirius unbutton his pyjamas. Contentment was settling around him like a heavy blanket, the awful nightmare of yesterday fading into obscurity. It meant nothing, because what he had with Sirius was still here today, unbroken. Trust intact. His mind was his own, or if it wasn’t, then at least it was Sirius he was sharing it with.

“Ready to give me some of your come?” Sirius whispered. He sounded hungry and he was moving down, eyes on the prize but hand kneading eagerly over the meagre muscle and narrow bone that was holding Remus’s wildly thumping heart inside. “I want to make you feel good.”

“I’m very lucky,” Remus whispered and closed his eyes. His demons had been laid to rest and his lover was bending down over him, hair tickling him, lips brushing his heart, first, then his excitable, trembling belly. Then his cock. 

“Mmm…” Sirius told him decisively, warm and wet and perfect. 

Remus hoped he didn’t taste the forest on him, nor the wilderness. Hoped he tasted of pears, too, or at least of the mint and lime soap. He could feel Sirius’s obscenely talented tongue tracing him, dipping underneath loose, freckly folds. Such soft kisses that he was in heaven. No, he was -

“You taste like home.”


End file.
